Freedom of Speech

ANOTHER OPEN LETTER TO ZEN GARDNER

One of the pillars of strength America was formed upon is our cherished Freedom of Speech.  People have fought and died to defend it.  Wars have been fought to defend it. And now, today, because of YOU, Zen Gardner, Don Ferguson - or whatever your real name is...another war to defend freedom of speech is being fought right now as I write this message to you tonight.  

On your "Just Wondering" website over the last many years you have become something of an expert at the art of 'moderating' readers comments.  Basically if the reader drinks your poison kool aide and showers you with glowing praise; strokes your enormous & pathetically ill ego their words are of course immediately posted, with a loving reply back from you.  The reward they sought all along.  T'was YOU who trained them to do that.

However, if the reader poses questions resulting from the critical thought you go on & on about: questions that make you squirm in your skin, or challenges to one of your fluffy, empty precepts - THAT comment never sees the light of day because YOU censor them. 

You do this so much, you are in fact known for it across the blogosphere.  Your ego has probably blocked you from seeing that in much the same way you censor comments you don't like.  Comments that shine a less than favorable light upon YOU.  It's kinda become your trademark.

Back four years ago when I visited your site I saw you do this to your readers.

In time, you also did this to me, more than once.

Then almost two years ago you started playing your mind games with the fresh posts I sent you for publication.  Instead of posting them like you'd been doing, you tossed them and placed me on your precious slow drip process...a kind of attrition designed to make someone go away because you no longer give them your 'reward' of posting their writings.  Yes, that was so easy to see thru, and so very lame.  The kind of shit schoolgirls do to each other; Is this why you have become such a whiny little bitch?

I mentioned these odd, erratic behaviors to a couple of folks I corresponded with at the time but my words fell on deaf ears.  They did not listen, they could not see your eyes.

Some of your regulars from 'the garden' and I connected via email, and compared notes.  People would send me copies of the comments you blocked.  Just like every other narcissist, you cannot help but to wanna control the narrative.  You simply know no other way, I understand that.
Yes, I really do!

And I know how very insecure that makes you feel.  Tough.
 I am not here to protect your ego from damage,
It now appears that "Rollo" has that job.  Watch your back Rollo!

Steve  brought me into this Shit Storm" a day or so before his expose post went public.

I promised  not to speak to anyone until after the post went up.
That gave me the time necessary for some auguring, to dig deep
 into the information discovered, and then dig a bit deeper still.

 It's what I do.  I thought you knew that!

I can find anything I want with a little time,

 and I know a couple others who are much better at it than I.
But I digress.

So Steve's post went up, The Cult of Zen Gardner: A Monster in Disguise, followed immediately by mine, What's Growing in Zen's Garden?, and Soren's The Awakening Spares Neither Man nor Beast followed closely by Ida's excellent post, Along Came A Gardner. which went up a few hours before my second post on the subject, When Heroes Fall.  Being an honest man having integrity, Steve gave you an opportunity to come clean and show the world the kind of man Zen Gardner really is.  Instead of doing the morally right thing you chose to instead insulate yourself; and show Everybody, the kind of man Zen Gardner really is.

 You drew all your Zenophytes close around you in cyberspace to bolster your panicking ego as your dark and devious mind darted about looking for a way out.  A couple days passed like molasses running uphill as all of us collectively waited to see what Jeff and Dave would do with this startling revelation about you.  The silence was, as they say, deafening!

Later that day I saw you...looked as though you were in a state of shock & awesome panic.  Hey - Donnie Boy; What ever happened to that shit you always spout about how "living in the truth is the ultimate liberation?" 

Practice What YOU Preach Asshole!

It was rather an interesting spectacle to watch this expose about YOU slowly ripple its way across the cyber community.  I saw you again, furious...almost panic stricken really at the thought of all you had built coming under such scurrilous jeopardy. 

I'll take "Fake Gurus" for $700.00 Alex!

I hadn't really 'known' you very long when atherosclerosis robbed me of my legs, mobility, livelihood and lifestyle.  After disappearing for 5 days in the bowels of the San Francisco VA medical center without access to my phone or property; at last an orderly came in with a phone I'd never seen saying I had a call.  Still groggy from an ordeal in  hell I mumbled "Who is it?"- and he asked me  if I knew a zen gardener.  I told him it was my yard boy, and took the phone from his hand. 

You heroically "rescued" me from the clutches of the matrix right in front of all your kool aide drinking, hero worshiping Zenophytes.  What a hero you must have felt like that day.  And you milked it for all it was worth.  You did a Go-fund-me among the Denizens of your cultist online garden to help me out financially since the VA still hadn't approved my benefits claim going on four years at that point in time. 

I must have looked like a real prize to you for whatever perverse agendas that play out in that incredibly crafty & intelligent mind of yours.  There I was, broke, crippled, and all alone.  Exactly what you look for in your victims, as well as those whom you only exploit.  Hell, I was even gullible enough to still be hanging around with you online after seeing several red flags; which were indicators of a specific personality type.

Been there, done that. People such as yourself are nothing new to me. They don't scare me.  You are no different than Trump or Clinton, no difference at all.  Just like them, you must control the narrative, but most especially when the narrative is focusing a megawatt spotlight on YOU and your pathetic life.

When I was fresh out of the hospital; you sent $700 to my PayPal account.

Oh how you bragged about that to your believers.  You sent 700 bucks to a crippled spiritual vet with a blog...knowing fucking well I would sing your praises to the world, which like a fool, I did.  I had already seen enough red flags with you to begin having some reservations.  I should have augured your ass right then and there; done the due diligence, but I didn't.  I'd just had a failed surgery for the third time and whiny little bitches weren't a priority to me then.  A few months went by and my VA claim was approved.  Sweet.  There was just the one thing I wanted to do with that first check.  I sent 700 bucks right back to your PayPal~No strings tied to me you devious motherfucker.

 Didn't anyone ever tell you that those who are child sex cult leaders in their misspent youth DO NOT get to grow up to be spiritual gurus of any kind or types.  Oh, that's right,  "We didn't have outside information, not even music.  This was as insular as you can get except outright captivity."  Those ARE your words, right?

 Don't want you to start whining about how I treated you badly.

You see Donnie boy, you don't need someone from outside, or even music to tell you that pedophilia is not just wrong, it's Immoral.  Period.  Everybody Knows That!

 It's just a natural part of being a whole, healthy, balanced human.

 Hey, I think I see the problem!

You see Donnie, when Steve gave you a chance, you went straight to ego, then typically barricaded yourself there surrounded by all your loyal mindless Zenophytes and Denizens. There you continued to stew in your own insanity and lust for power & control which has now brought you to the brink of meltdown.  That is to say the meltdown of your personality.  Your character, whatever it once was, or would have become is long past redemption.  In my professional opinion so is your tormented soul.

You forget, Donnie Boy that for 25 years I made my living as a counselor.  I never bragged about my mad counseling skills, or a few other items, because they weren't generic to the conversation at that time; and I long ago learned to be wary of giving strangers too much personal information until they gain your trust, and YOU never did, Donnie.  You never once earned my trust, which is why I am so impartial about all of this.  

I just go where the story takes me.  Simple as that.

The truly hilarious thing in all this cyber attack on Augureye Express is I've been considering a long hiatus from the blog possibly even stopping because after 4 years I've pretty much said my piece, but YOU Donnie Boy, have recently re-filled my tank & inspired me to soldier on a while longer, if for no other reason than to make sure every person with a tablet, phone or computer will know your face, and your crimes against children.
Gee, I guess you're an inspirational figure after all.

Yes, I prefer to refer to you with the diminutive "Donnie Boy"
just because I know it irritates you.  Should I instead refer to you
as Apollos, the name the other cult members knew you by?
You'd like that wouldn't you Donnie Boy?

Tell Ya what Donnie, you forced me to break a promise.

I promised myself, and my readers that I was done writing
about you & your cults.  But you came after me because of
the photographs I've been posting of you.
You never saw that coming, did ya?  Pretty Revealing, eh?
Eyes being the window to the soul and all that,
It must have been the reason for the big hat & gargoyle shades.
Your trademark, your brand
The guru who was afraid to look folks right in the eye.

I know you hate the literal shit out of what I have done.  Tough.
You know as well as I do how short the human memory span is especially these days.
You know very well that time will bury all the words written about you this month, but
those portraits of YOU are out there on the internet for all time, and pictures,
as we all know are worth a thousand words.  My contribution to the cause.
Actually considering making a coffee table book out of those images.

So now I AM  so done writing about you.  I am old and my balls are low and I want

 only good things in my life - YOU simply don't qualify.  YOU do not matter.

Did your spiritual scams pay well enough for a plastic surgeon to change your looks?

Doesn't matter how good a face lift you get, it will not make you safe; because there just

ain't no way to hide those lying, tortured, fearful eyes of yours.

Perhaps this will be my last blog post ever, and this open letter to YOU will be the 

sentinel I leave behind to forever sound the Parasite Alert.  How about that????

                                          You should never have fucked with my site, 

                                     hacking in like a cowardly fucking thief in the night.

So the remaining space in this post is reserved for the words of others...

Oh no, not those incriminating & revealing comments from those who escaped your web of lies, the comments you hacked into my site to prevent people from reading...those are likely gone forever cause you disappeared them, didn't you.  No; the words coming next that you should fear even more than those readers, are from two sorts of people.  The first is a few extremely telling comments sent to me by someone who also saw you; they saw your Aura and what they saw there gave them some pause, & cause to be concerned, to be very concerned.  so let's do this, eh Donnie Boy....

*****

            I always noticed a certain nervous energy, not grounded, scattered,

very head-centric, at times not very present and not embodied 
(not “Zen” at all). 

I’m good at reading people to an extent. It’s what I do for a living. But I didn’t say anything since it was none of my business and I cannot just go around telling people what I see through their mask of personality and armor they have built around themselves unless they come for a session to me. As obviously we all have our own masks and shadows since everyone is “wounded” 
to one degree or another.

I also intuitively knew that there is fear and a deep shadow lurking within you; 

even possibly entity attachments .

Now I know why,

           and what I saw and felt but I certainly didn’t expect these revelations.

I’m not denouncing your well-meaning intentions and good-hearted nature

that I see as well  (or maybe is that a mask as well?).

              But “intention” is not enough, nor just having a “nice” personality.

*****

To round out our sojourn into YOUR world, of sociopathic/narcissistic madness,

what say we bring in what an attorney would call, an Expert Witness on the subject.

*****

"Sociopaths are masters at weaving elaborate fictional explanations to justify their actions. When caught red-handed, they respond with anger and threats, then weave new fabrications to explain away whatever they were caught doing.

A sociopath caught red-handed with a suitcase full of cash he just stole, for example, might declare he had actually rescued the money from being stolen by someone else, and that he was attempting to find its rightful owner. He's the hero, see? And yet, in reality, he will simply pocket the money and keep it. If you question him about the money, he will attack you for questioning his honesty.

Sociopaths are masters are presenting themselves as heroes with high morals and philosophy, yet underneath it they are the true criminal minds in society who steal, undermine, deceive, and often incite emotional chaos among entire communities. They are masters at turning one group of people against another group while proclaiming themselves to be the one true savior. They are delusional at so many levels that their brains defy logical reasoning.

You cannot reason with a sociopath. Attempting to do so only wastes your time and annoys the sociopath.

Sociopaths never answer facts; they always attack the messenger(s)

Another very valuable red flag to recognize when trying to spot a sociopath is to see how they deal with attacks on their own integrity. If a sociopath is presented with a collection of facts, documents and evidence showing that he lied or deceived, he will refuse to address the evidence and, instead, attack the messenger!

If you really try to nail a sociopath down to answering a documented allegation, they will quickly turn on you, denounce you, and declare that you too are secretly plotting against them. Anyone who does not fall for the brainwashing of the sociopath is sooner or later kicked out of the circle and then wildly disparaged by the remaining members of the cult group'. Source

Interestingly, the Sociopath is NOT considered as a psychiatric illness, since: it doesn't hurt the sociopath only his surroundings….meaning they do not suffer, only those around them do that.

***** 

I normally leave links after a post for my readers, but since this is an open letter to YOU, Donnie Boy well, the attached links are just for YOU tonight.  Maybe if you had actually read them when you posted them on "Just Wondering" all that time ago, maybe we could have helped ya.  If you had come to Steve, Soren or hell, even me - we would have helped you, had you confessed what you forced Steve to expose.  Instead, we are here, where YOU insisted we all go.

This shit storm that has driven a wedge of fetid excrement down the middle of the alternative community you profess to love so very much.

Right, "Buy My Book."

Donnie, I know you do not understand why so many are so repulsed by you. 

So very angry and disappointed in YOU.

It just escapes you, like so many of your followers are now doing as well.

I bet it just really sucks being YOU right now.

Your little world was so wonderful. after such hard work for so many long years of playing your mind games & running your various scams; seeing it all come crashing down is more than you are willing to see or prepared to deal with like a sane, rational human being.  Shit, there's that human equation thing again. You ain't no fucking human -you are what the elders call an empty. 

You are an empty, soul bereft meatbag, masquerading as a human and now,

Everybody Knows!

You were running one of your scams on the lady who outed you as well and rightfully she should have.  I am hearing tonight that her site is down for the count.  I can see that. She's the one you really hate the most right now, (with me a very close second.) because in YOUR twisted, convoluted insane world she betrayed a confidence you considered to be unbreakable, because YOU Donnie Boy are broken.  So typical of a fucking coward to go after a woman YOU thought was too fragile and sensitive to challenge YOU.  Always preying on the weak and helpless, picking off the cripples like a two legged jackal.

 I see you tonight, trying to talk and scheme your way back to where you think you have a right to be.  Give up Donnie, fold your online cult website, free your Zenophytes to heal as best they are able; then just go walk barefoot till your feet bleed, then keep walking. 

I knew you were a lame fake when your site got that huge expensive makeover.  Almost overnight a guy who always whined like a little bitch about how broke he was, how much he needed all those donations from the kool aide drinking garden party...suddenly had the mega bucks to turn what you began with into a pimped out whore house carnival ride, and such a ghastly UGLY format, no doubt designed by your cointelpro and MK ultra buddies to distract, titillate, and confuse those attempting to navigate you new abomination...after all, it's all about the footfall right, the bottom line. 

"Buy My Book.  Right?

Yeah Donnie Boy, that makeover was something a true zen person would run from as fast as they could; and it always amused me just a little that nobody else said that to you...oh, wait, wait- was THAT the kind of comments from the peanut gallery that sent you into full on pathetic overdrive?

 I can see that.

I do not envy the future you have manifested for yourself with all this insanity.  While desperately trying to keep secret; things that would rough up your reputation a little YOU fucked up & shot yourself in the foot - three times.  While trying to avoid a little embarrassment you managed to bring down your entire operation of your stolen persona.  Shit man, what's the next remake of Donnie Boy going to be?  Buddha didn't zap you for hijacking the purest word in all spirituality for six years ... or did he maybe after all?

Knowing your predictable penchant for doubling down on your own madness it wouldn't surprise me if you show up next as Trumps spiritual advisor with the name of Creepyhands McWeasel Eyes  

I'm certainly no zen master at all, in fact I had to pack up my spirituality, my better side, and send it out to the country for a ten day vacation so I could deal with your narrow ass. Without my better side to remind me not to lower my self to YOUR  pathetic energy level, hell Donnie Boy, I even had me a genuine spiritual epiphany, or at least I thought it was one.  Turned out it was only a really big bout of Schadenfreude.  Simple as that!

Donnie, if I'd wanted the kind of stardom you do, I could have had it, at least once, perhaps twice ~ yet each time I went upon a different, less complex path.   I did not desire all those matrix trappings.  I've never desired them, walked away, and in turn, source led me, protected me, as I found my way.  You should maybe try that.  It won't bring you the sort of happiness you seem to crave with all your heart, but it may, after many long years of your healing and cleansing your soul, if that is even possible after so long of being YOU.  In my life I have suffered grievous losses, most recently three friends, a wolf and use of my legs.  They call that life, it's what we spiritual warriors signed up for just prior to this current incarnation on earth.  I may have lost a lot that was close to me, I may well lose still more yet before my ride is here; but I do have something you've run out of,  friends.

YOU are alone now save for the company of your own kind Donnie Boy, and as I said you brought it all on yourself.  I understand your lovely wife also discovered your monstrous side, your depraved pedophile past and dumped you.  That must really sting.

Tough.

You did all of this because you were abused yourself long before you ever heard of David Berg.  You became a small frightened cowardly thing which I cannot call a man.

 As far as I'm concerned, 

you've lost your earth privileges ~ so just get the fuck off my planet 

you tyrannical little bitch.

YOU are done here.  You wanna know why you'e finished?  

There is an acronym describing both: your problem-and what people think you are;

Can't Understand Normal Thinking

You'll see it.... So that's it dude. Said what I came to say, gonna back on out of here and get back to my life which YOU interrupted with your sociopathic, narcissistic, need to quash ANY voice not singing your song.  You wanted music?  Well here is a dedication going out across the planet tonight, dedicated to the most emotionally crippled individual I have ever seen.

 I shall close with the only curse appropriate for one such as YOU.

"Live Long and Suffer, Bitch."

Much Love!

© 2016 full re-post with permission only

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update: September 7, 2016

The "Zen Gardner" website Just Wondering

has been shut down entirely, and

the Domain has been sold!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't Let the Devil Take Your Mind"  

"Never Fuck with a Disc Jockey"

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